Wednesday, May 14, 2014

5 Reasons You Should NEVER Drive a Honda Odyssey | Winning Entry

When our good ol pickup bit the dust 4 years ago, my husband and I went looking for the best family-friendly, used vehicle we could afford. It seemed like a no-brainer to go with the 2002 Honda Odyssey. After all, it has an average customer rating of 4.5/5 stars on and is ranked first in its segment by But it didnt take us long after signing the paperwork to discover the Odysseys awful secrets.

1. Heated Seats

Listen, Honda, I live in Utah for a reasonthe average temperature in the winter is 32 degrees. It’s my choice to drive in a frozen tundra, it should be my choice whether or not I want my buns toasty warm. Granted, I can turn the heat off, but once it’s on I’m too warm to reach over and push the button, basically removing my agency.

2. Seating for 7

Who, in their right mind, would want to drive with six other people? Not me! I like riding solo as much as possible. But when Honda puts all those extra cushy seats in the Odyssey, people assume you want to haul them around. Listen kids, just because theres room in the van, doesnt mean I need to drive you to school.

3. Folding Backseat

Granted, this could be an advantage if you dont want to drive people around (see reason 2), but its a great disadvantage when your husband shops at Home Depot. Do you realize how much paint and wood can fit in a van when the backseat folds down into the floor? Take my word for it. Its a lot. Just to return the favor, I might see how many Nordstrom bags can fit in the same space.

4. V-6 Engine

I live in a small town with small vehicles. Its bad for my image to sit at a stoplight next to Joan Schmo and have her know by the sound of my powerful engine I could take her in a drag race. Not that I would go zero to 60 mph in 8.1 seconds. Thats just pretentious.

5. Automatic Sliding Doors

Honda is contributing to the nations obesity epidemic one automatic sliding door at a time. Gone are the days of building your biceps by opening and closing heavy van doors. Now I push a button on the remote and they open without any exertion on my part. With as flabby as my arms are getting, a gym membership should have been included the Odysseys purchase price.   

Jill Swensen blogs at Being Spiffy where she tells the tales of her people. Said people include her husband and three children. When not blogging, you can find Jill carting her family around the thoroughfares of Utah, searching for adventures and the perfect fountain Dr Pepper.

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